Bringing her Praise and Worship team to minister in a prison or
stockade is serious business to Elizabeth Sterbens. Security
issues, procedures, even clothing selection are critical. As she
briefed her team members and crew, it was clear, however, that the
Minister of Worship and Arts had concerns beyond even those weighty
matters.
“These people [at the jail] know me, I put people in there.
It’s my reputation that’s on the line,” she said.
Investigator Beth Sterbens, of the Florida State Attorney General’s
office, knows how it feels to walk the fine line required to succeed
in both a secular career and a significant ministry commitment.
When asked to teach a gun-handling course to State Attorneys whose
lives had been threatened, Beth (a certified firearms instructor)
worried about how it would affect her responsibilities as choir
director.
When she’s not investigating a crime scene or teaching at the police
academy, Beth can be found on Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings
leading a Praise and Worship team—a musical ensemble, a choir, and a
five-piece band—at 500-member Covenant Community Ministries, in Fort
Myers, Florida. Beth succeeded a gifted, full-time Minister of
Worship and Arts in early 2002, and admirably fills that position in
a church known for its commitment to excellence in music and drama;
a congregation quite capable of hiring a full-time staff-person to
do what Beth does. Senior Pastor David Pleasant readily admits that
he would be more than happy to pay her to be on staff, “But she has
a career.”
To
some, Beth’s law enforcement career appears to be the polar opposite
of her Praise and Worship responsibilities. Beth noted that new
acquaintances frequently engage her in a dialogue that goes
something like this; “ ‘You’re an investigator with the State
Attorney’s Office?’ Well, yeah. ‘You’re the firearms instructor?’
Well, yeah. ‘You’re the worship leader at a church?’ ”
Worship Team member, Michael Collins, attests to Beth’s success as a
worship leader, “When I think
of Beth Sterbens, the one word that comes to mind is passionate.
I have been involved in praise and worship services for many years
and have yet to see anyone with more passion than Beth to
lead others into the presence of God. You can't help but get excited
when you experience praise and worship, ‘Sterben’s Style.’ ”
Never the
spectator type, Beth’s passionate “style” led her from a police
dispatcher’s desk to the city’s streets.
Regarding her nine years
in uniform, she noted, “I had unbelievable activity rates. It was a
slow night for me if I didn’t put at least two people in jail.” For
years Beth worked “The Hill,” Fort Myers most dangerous area. “I
[eventually] worked every district, primarily at night—I didn’t like
working the day shift because you had to deal with ‘brass’ and they
were a pain. Oftentimes I was the acting supervisor. I enjoyed
working the street.”
The
fearless style that eventually gained Beth the rank of police
sergeant, serves her well in ministry. Pastor David Pleasant
observes; “Beth is a woman very much like Debra in the Bible. She
can be fierce and passionate, like a warrior, and at the same time
be a vessel God uses to bring life and freedom. She ministers at the
stockade with this type of diversity. She has arrested or prosecuted
some of the very inmates to whom she brings, with compassion and
love, the gospel message of hope. Her life is a complex series of
balancing acts. She is, above all, a woman of God. She is a worship
leader who has the responsibility to lead us as a corporate body
into the presence of God with praise and worship. Then she must be a
professional who balances business with her personal life and—she
pulls it all off each week to begin again for the next week. She is
beautiful, sensitive, tough, and very passionate about everything
she does.”
Beth, an animal lover at heart, found it easy to be passionate about
the three years she worked with a “K9” partner—an all black German
Shepherd named Buddy—saying, “It was probably the most fun I had
during my law enforcement career. In 33 months, I had 33
apprehensions, and eleven of them were ‘physical’ apprehensions,
where he actually bit someone. This dog literally saved my
life—twice—in the three years I had him.”
“One time he rescued me he didn’t even know he was. We were doing
a search—very, very deep in the mangroves.” Casually Beth adds, “I
don’t know if you’ve ever been in the mangroves—but it is
very swampy.” The mangrove swamp led out into a canal, and the
suspect they were pursuing jumped into the canal and swam to the
mangrove swamp. Officer Sterbens and Buddy began ‘working” the
mangroves. “This was an ‘area’ search . . . the wind [and scent] is
coming at you . . . and the dog works the edges of a ‘cone,’ back
and forth, to the bad guy. You ‘read the dog,’ you watch his tail,
you watch his reactions . . . and I could always tell when Buddy was
getting close to a suspect because he would start bouncing.”
That
kind of tracking was extremely physical—Buddy weighed eighty-five
pounds and Beth only one hundred thirty. As they got close to the
suspect, Buddy jumped into the canal. “He begins to sink, because
the muck and mud is sucking him down.” Going into the canal after
him, Officer Sterbens is quickly “up to my waist in water, and up to
my knees in muck. I grabbed him by the back of his halter and I
threw him toward the bank, and when I did that, it sunk me
further into the muck and I was sinking. The water was up to
my face and the muck was up to my waist. I’m wearing eighteen
pounds [dry weight] of apparatus—boots, gunbelt, vest . . .
all of this is sinking . . . and I cannot move my legs. I
wrapped the [harness] lead around my hand, and because Buddy was
pulling towards the bad guy he pulled me out.” At the other end of
the twenty-foot lead, Buddy had already (to put it nicely)
attached himself to the “bad guy,” and Officer Sterbens
completed the arrest.
Beth (apparently not listening to what she just described), went on
to say, “I really enjoyed that—I enjoyed him [Buddy], he was
intense, he was ‘hard’—he was a really cool dog.” For all that
“fun,” however, Beth’s voice paid a price, as she now has scar
tissue on her vocal cords from shouting commands to the dog. “On
any Sunday (given the condition of my voice), I don’t know if I will
end up singing the lead or the tenor part.”
Though she has loved Jesus for as long as she can remember, Beth’s
childhood was anything but “storybook.” In a voice quieter than
usual, Beth recalled a father who spent years in the grip of
alcoholism, “four major encounters,” where she was sexually
assaulted by men, (including a rape at the age of eight by two young
men) and ongoing sexual abuse by “an older gentlemen” before she was
a teenager. In the honest manner of one who may never have all the
answers, Beth continued, “I don’t know what the deal was, but I
didn’t trust men.” As a young girl, she came to one conclusion
about men and another about herself, “That [sex] was their only
agenda,” and “I didn’t feel pretty—if I had been pretty, they
wouldn’t have treated me that way.” Even the strong can have
self-image problems.
In
1993 Beth’s life seemed to come crashing down around her. Her
police dog was taken away from her, and her oldest brother, Tim,
became fatally ill with AIDS. In addition, “My grandmother died in
my arms, and my best friend shot herself (that tormented me).”
Shaken to the core, Beth related, “I was angry—I was very
angry.”
After all the funerals, a broken engagement, and subsequent
unsuccessful relationships, “I was through with God, I was through
with men . . . I was just . . . through. There didn’t seem
to be any future.” This desperate, downward spiral culminated one
Sunday morning in May; “I went out to the back of my pasture (where
we had just buried one of my horses) . . . and I had my gun in my
hand. I don’t know what made me come back from out there.”
Speaking very softly, Beth continued, “Yes, I do—it was God.
I walked back in my house and I put the gun away. Mom was praying
for me—my entire family was praying for me. If you talk to Mom, she
will tell you there were points where she wouldn’t sleep for nights
at a time—praying. She sensed death . . . hovering.”
According to Beth, the healings of body and spirit that she needed
occurred, “. . . not when God showed up and knocked the pulpit
over,” but through “simple acts of obedience.” “The healings and
the blessings that have been bestowed upon me have been because I
was obedient, or I forgave, or I trusted God.”
A
further breakthrough occurred in Beth’s life during an intense study
of Isaiah 61 (her “anthem of praise”). The fourth verse sprang to
life for her with compelling force (“They
will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long
devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been
devastated for generations.”).
“That was when I
realized the power of God and what He could do in my life. It’s
about having a relationship with God! I talk to Him, like I
talk to you; I make myself do that.” As yet, unmarried, Beth
emphasized that she leans heavily upon that relationship to sustain
her.
Leaning forward and gesturing with her sturdy hands, Beth, who
recently turned 40, spoke passionately about the “single life,”
“It’s not a matter of, ‘Once I get married I’ll be complete.’ I
believe that there is someone out there for me, but that is
not what I live for. That is not my focus. I don’t get up in the
morning thinking about it. I have too much to do; I have to be
about my Father’s business.” Beth feels that many Christian
singles get “distracted” searching for a partner, and fail to
realize that any earthly (horizontal) relationship can only be as
strong as one’s spiritual (vertical) relationship with God. While
recognizing the “companionship” blessing of marriage, Beth (a
country girl at heart) sums up her take on the advantages of
matrimony, “If it’s a matter of pulling a wagon, one horse will get
it done, but two horses can do it better.”
The
initial prospect of a worship ministry at the jail challenged Beth
to merge her law enforcement world with her ministry world in a new,
even threatening, way. “I wouldn’t be going in as a police
officer, I’d be going in as a minister, and I’m not
familiar with going in there as a minister.”
Because of her obedience in this area, a dawning realization brought
a new “wholeness” to Beth’s life. “I became aware that I don’t live
in two different worlds. There are not two different worlds
anymore—there is one world—and it’s God’s. I’m not this
rough-and-tumble police officer over here, and then this really
sweet person who smiles and cries and leads people in praise and
worship. The bottom line is, ‘It is in Him that I live and
move and have my being.’ There is nothing else.”
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